Behold The Frog Prophet

Wow, what a day. We went through a lot of registration and orientation procedures, all were completely painless and even fun. It began this morning with a long walk from our house down the lower end of campus up to nearly the farthest building on the property. A solid ten minute trek, uphill in the heat just to grab a folder full of freshman forms for this week. The walk back was easier, being a downhill trudge the whole way, but just as hot. After this preliminary endeavor the clock struck eleven a.m. and we had no other events until five. We had all intentions of making an appearance at the Emily Dickenson event but found ourselves weary and in need of rest around 1:15. When I say “ourselves” and “weary” I mean that is when Katie took her nap. This may be presumptuous of me to say but: I don’t imagine many of my West Virginian neighbors showing up for a poetry reading. I imagine Katie and I as being the only ones there which causes the following philosophical question to plague my mind, “If a single actor reads Emily Dickenson poetry aloud in an empty theater, does she make a sound?” That’s my take on the age-old tree falling in the forest question.

Time flew by and five o’ clock arrived so we drove up to the Servant Center with our new neighbors Dan and Jennifer. Typically we would have walked but the threat of a pending rain shower made the idea unfavorable. The four of us enjoyed dinner together, courtesy of ABC and proceeded to the chapel, Anderson Hall, afterward for an introductory speech from President Anderson and Dean Childs. I’m sure these minor details are just dripping with interest for all of the readers, but I must move along. After President Anderson’s speech all the new students migrated to the lounge area for further activities. We split up into groups and were given scavenger hunt assignments. We received pamphlets with eight pictures in them, we were to find the pictures and in close proximity to these areas would be Resident Assistants who would sign our pictures (validating that we had found them). This event sets the scene for the frog prophet. Don’t be deceived, I don’t write this story to be entertaining, this was a real live event. As we were traveling to the location of our third picture I saw a frog in the road. It’s the first one I’ve seen here and since I am easily entertained by small creatures I picked him up. We exchanged pleasantries then he urinated on my hand and I released him. Upon sitting him down one of the members in our group announced that he would be dead in seconds. Several of us looked puzzled but then saw a red SUV approaching our spot in the road. We cleared the path, but the frog, perhaps still mulling through our social encounter in his mind did not pay attention. The tension in our group was obvious as we all watched this large vehicle approach the small amphibian. The tires aligned with the creature’s silhouette and POP! The car ran right over him without even noticing and it literally made a loud “pop” sound. This event was traumatizing to our lighthearted group, but we were amazed at the word spoken by such a gifted fellow. Tomorrow I will ask the frog prophet what lottery numbers to play. Well, maybe he can only tell when things will be run over. Still a good person to have handy.

After the scavenger hunt we had pizza and ice cream and received our next group assignment. Over the course of this week our group must create a fictional country. We must draw a flag fitting for this country and we must invent a national game that we would perform in the Olympics. Without opposition I was nominated leader of the group, a great honor on my part regardless of the fact that nobody else wanted the position. Details of our fairy tale country will come soon and with yours truly as the leader you can expect something interesting. Katie also participated in the evenings festivities but in a different group. Her group has already made progress in the creating of their nation. They call it Naihcalappa, which is Appalachian backwards (creative, I know). Their flag features a colorful frog which is fitting because their home sport is leap frog. I’m not making this up folks, all the freshmen are subjected to this. We must also wear gold painted paper plates as necklaces for the next week. If we are caught around campus without our disposable “bling-bling” we must, in slow motion, act out an Olympic sport of choice.

Thanks for reading, come back soon and don’t forget to subscribe your e-mail address on the right if you haven’t already. By the way, I have inquired of the frog prophet on behalf of all my friends and family. He foresees no harm to any humans in the near future but recommends you keep your pets on a tight leash.